Hello everyone! Happy holidays and stuff.
So, I’ve been on HRT now for 1 year and 5 months. This month has been kind of difficult as there is a family member that I have not told about the transition because I feel like it might cause certain complications I really don’t need right now. I haven’t seen them in a while, so when we went for Thanksgiving, I had to shave. It wasn’t nearly as traumatic as it was for the last funeral I went to, so that’s good. I did leave my soul patch though.
In other news, my HRT dose has been lowered to a 0.25 ml instead of 0.5 ml (cc?) because of my blood pressure and hemoglobin being high. It’s been weird. I’m more tired because of the lower testosterone. I’ve also been achy and I was cramping the other day as though I was about to start menstruation. That was scary. It hasn’t happened yet though so I think I’m okay.
As far as my blood pressure, my general doctor put me on a water pill along with my usual blood pressure medication. It seems to be working. One bad thing is that I’m getting dehydrated on the water pill. Don’t worry, I’m getting enough water now!
Yup! I’ve got actual chest hair now! There’s a lot of longer hairs that have been there for a while right around the nipples, but now I’ve got ‘fur’ all over that’s almost half an inch long. I keep thinking they’re eyelashes until they don’t come off. It’s kinda crazy. I’m also getting a thicker ‘happy trail’ of sorts, but nothing to really brag about. LOL
The facial hair is still about the same as it has been since my last post. It got really long for a while and I had to trim it up about a month or so ago. Since I shaved it, it’s been growing back at about the same pace my husband’s does. All I really wish is that it would start growing in a little more evenly.
So, I seem to be going through ‘phases’ of major dysphoria about different things. Last time I shaved it was a horrible experience emotionally. I think it’s because I felt like no one saw me as male if I didn’t have the facial hair there. I’m currently not sure if they always see me as male, but I’m getting ‘sir’ed a lot still, especially when it matters.
Currently, I’m having top dysphoria. Putting a binder on every day is driving me insane. It’s also causing some skin problems on my back that are annoying. I want to have surgery, but I currently can’t even afford to look into the surgery.
Another thing that gets to me, which I find as funny as I do traumatizing, is not being able to stand to pee. Most stand-to-pee devices are expensive, but I’ve recently discovered a few that are in my price range. Hopefully getting one will help that. One of the main reasons I find this to be bad is that it’s cold and my butt is cold when I have to sit down to pee because it’s winter. This is why I find it funny.
I’ve also noticed that I seem to experience dysphoria in different ways than most people that talk about it. It typically does not result in deep, debilitating depression. Sometimes, at the end of the day, I let it get to me but for the most part, I just try to ignore the irritation and anguish and move on with my life because most of the things I feel any dysphoria about are things I can’t actually do anything about right now. That in itself is a part of ongoing issues I have.
Anyway, that’s all for now! I’ll be back soon with another update. I’ve got to head back to Planned Parenthood for another appointment in a couple of months, and my general doctor in a couple of weeks. We’ll see if my blood pressure can get back under control.
Have a good one! And as always, feel free to comment or ask questions below. No question is stupid or offensive. I will try to answer them all on the blog. If not, I can answer privately.