How Is Your Husband Dealing with My Transition?

I’ve talked extensively with Paul about this (and I hope to add an update soon with him writing it). Before I go into details, I would like to say that he is 100% behind me in my transition. I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life.

When I Came Out

I realized I was actually a guy about 2 years ago now. I had a hard time telling Paul. I wasn’t sure he was going to be cool with it. What if he didn’t want me anymore? I mean, the worst that could happen is that he’d kick me out, right? Well, in other situations it could be worse, but Paul doesn’t have a violent bone in his body.

I told Manderley first. She was kinda like “duh, about time you realized it.” That made me feel a little better, but I needed to come out to Paul before announcing it to the world. And really, at the time, announcing it to the world wasn’t on my mind. If Paul wouldn’t accept that I was transgender, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

It was Christmas Eve 2015 when I told him. We were about to start wrapping presents when I sent him a text from across the room. It went a little something like this:

Me: I’ve got something to tell you. Don’t freak out.

Paul: Sure, what is it?

Me: I’m transgender. I’m a guy.

Paul: Do you think that would make me love you any less?

Me: I love you too. Guess I’ll keep you. 🙂

Getting Use To “Him”

And ever since he’s been dealing with it all very well. I didn’t start HRT until June 2017, and it took Paul almost a full year to get the pronouns right. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it’s just hardwired into your brain after you know someone for a while. (And that’s why I’m pretty chill about pronouns)

It really helps that Paul’s so chill about everything in life. Sometimes I feel he’s a little too relaxed, but he just goes with the flow. We’re still head over heels in love. He knows I’m the same person as before, just the gender identity has changed.

About Potential Surgeries

We have only discussed surgeries in passing. I’m not financially capable of getting top or bottom surgery done right now, and so there’s no real point in discussing it in length until we feel we can afford it. Last time we talked about it, Paul wasn’t really sure what he thought about me having either surgery.

I want top surgery first, and he seems pretty okay with that one. The bottom surgery is the one he’s really not sure about. Hell, I’m not even sure about it at the moment. I’d really need to do more research and talk with the doctor about it before I would even commit to having it.

Future Updates

This was created on 6/13/18. Future updates will be added as necessary. Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any questions.


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