So, I've taken two shots since the last time I posted (as of today is been 4 weeks). I'm going to go ahead and apologize for that just to get it off my chest. There have been a few changes pertaining to my transition but I just have not got the time to make a post until now. There are also been quite a few changes in my personal life that are not necessarily involved in the transition.
Because this blog is supposed to be all about the transition, let's start with those changes.
Skin, Hair, and Temperature
My skin is definitely more oily than before I started T.
I have also noticed a few more sick stray hairs on my chin and jaw line that so I have not normally been there. I did not get a picture before shaving them off but I can tell you this: they were very dark and very thick. I will continue to shave until it appears that I might actually have a full growth of facial hair. Once that happens, I will probably experiment with growing it out just to see how it looks.
Meanwhile, I'm not getting nearly as cold as I usually do with the air conditioner on this time of year. As hot as it's been, though, I don't see how anyone could be cold even with the air conditioner on. Our new air-conditioner, installed last year, At work is incredibly cold. Before I started taking T, are used to have to put on a long sleeve shirt just to withstand the cold. After T, i've been stripping down to my binder a lot. It doubles as a tank top, so I'm not indecent or anything. LOL
This is new for me because I am always, always cold.
This last week and a half has been pretty painful. Shortly after my last post here, I started aching all over my body. This wasn't like the pain I usually have in my neck from the arthritis. I vaguely remember this kind of pain as growing pains from when I was quite a bit younger.
No one really told me that there would be a pain and aching throughout my muscles, joints, and bones. But there is. Ibuprofen helped.
It makes sense though, right? If my body is changing as if it's going through puberty why would I not have growing pains that go along with going through puberty?
Overall the aches and pains are not that bad. They are slightly annoying, kind of like when my body is so stressed it won't relax. Still, is a small price to pay to feel more at home in my body.
My First Period on T (and other sexual things)
Really, though, what else do I actually call this section?
Disclaimer: If you do not wish to hear about some bodily functions that are sexual in nature, SKIP THIS SECTION. I will try not to go into a lot of detail, but I feel it's important to share as much as I can. Alternately, if you have questions about more detail, I am willing to talk one-on-one.
So, this last week, my period happened (menstrual period for those of you unsure). Some reading this might get jealous but I have never had bad cramps with my periods before. This time it was different. I was doubled over in pain several times for the first 2 days. It also lasted longer and I'm guessing it was because my body is starting to wonder what's up. There's conflicting hormones in here now.
Has anyone else been through this already? I'd be interested to hear how your periods were during this time.
In one of my previous posts I talked about the side effects of T. I mentioned that the sex drive was suppose to increase. Well, this past week it finally happened. Over the last year or so, I was starting to feel like I could be starting pre-menopause early (just my luck, right?). My sex drive was pretty much gone and I felt bad about it. I mean… I still enjoyed write and reading erotica like normal, but sex itself just didn't interest me all that much. I wasn't sure how to approach it.
I can't really blame it on dysphoria because I didn't really know, though it might have subliminally been part of it. I didn't feel sexy or wanted (totally in my head, but that's a story for another time). I was also distracted with a lot of other things in my life.
My sex drive is now in high gear at least half the time. Idle hands can be the worst culprits! XD
In other news, no dryness or noticeable growth down there yet. And that's all I'm going to say for now.
So, I have a major problem with communicating with people. Typing here is not nearly as stressful as speaking with words coming out of my mouth face-to-face with another person or persons. Again, over the last few years I didn't feel like I could explain things to my husband in a way that he would understand. I thought he might hate me or make light of or dismiss everything that was going on in my head. Partially because he's so loving and supportive I never get a passionate answer from him either way. And because he's so laid back, a simple yes or no is easier for him than a lengthy discussion.
I also didn't want him to feel bad for not being able to help me when I was down or depressed. One of my biggest fears is disappointing or hurting people.
Getting to my point, I've felt more comfortable talking to him about things that I normally wouldn't bring up. Over the last couple of days, his acceptance of my transition has started to actually sink in. I feel better about sharing with him what is going on in my head: good or bad.
Now here are some general things that have been happening to me over the last two weeks.
We've been crazy busy at the shop. There are a lot of custom projects that need to get done in a short amount of time and the alterations are coming in fairly steadily as well. Business is good.
A few bouts of depression. Mostly happening when I'm home and feel I should be working. This is usual for my ADHD brain.
Also had a bout of inspiration. I'm now working on a few things and it should be going public in the next couple of weeks. I'm pretty excited!
That's it for today. Speaking of today. Some stuff has happened in the political realm today that was shocking and backwards to say the least. I don't want to go in depth about it now, but if you'd like to help support your trans friends in this trying time, you can check out TomboyX who is donating to The Trevor Project for every pair of undies sold! They're the most amazingly comfortable underwear I've ever worn!
Take care all. Have questions? Email me it comment below.